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“I have nothing against dating services like Match.com. In today’s hectic world they can help people find like-minded people. I just don’t think they should be called ‘dating’ services. I think they should be called ‘meeting’ services. It’s a lot easier for everyone if we think of our goal as meeting people rather than finding dates. So rule number one: No dating. Your goal is to meet someone and learn something about them. I’m not saying you won’t go out to dinner with them eventually. That’s fine but it should be a part of the natural progression of getting to know someone, not an activity fraught with all kinds of heavy unspoken implications.”
— From Stop Dating-And Start Meeting Interesting People
Every day people post descriptions of themselves on dating sites, go to networking functions, get introduced by mutual friends, head out to bars, go to church events- all with a similar goal in mind: To meet someone that could be a life partner. The business of finding each other is big business. The usual process is to connect somehow, check the other person out, go on dates and then, if everything seems to be going well, to start a relationship.
There’s only one problem with this process. Most people aren’t very comfortable with one or more aspects of the dating model. Maybe you’re shy and can’t get to the first stage. Maybe you’re so picky that you can never find that exact match you imagine would be perfect. You might be so focused on not being alone that you appear desperate or needy. You might have bad judgement when it comes to vetting a potential partner.
This little book aims to change all of these approaches to meeting people. You won’t be going on too many of those dreaded ‘dates’, at least not for a while. And when you do, it will be because both of you have decided to try something a lot more intimate. By that point you’ll have a whole different idea of what a relationship is and whether you really want or need one. You’ll know a lot more about yourself and the people you meet will be a lot more interesting. You’ll also know how to spot potential problems and how to recognize that spark that is critical to any successful long term relationship. And you’ll have fun in the process, a lot of fun. And you may never have to go on a ‘date’ again!